The sun is rising, my feet are pounding and I can’t keep my eyes open. Yet I can’t quite seem to climb into bed. I am currently sitting on top of it, but can’t seem to get under the covers. Very, very tired… very, very satisfied.
Okay, not in that way. Just finished the last major day of filming on Cinderella Drives A Pick-up. Long ass day, the longest on the shoot – 12 full hours. But shot 23 pages. Yikes.
It hit me as we packed up the equipment at the house we were shooting at – all the emotion of the last year, practically, caught me by surprise and I had to sit down. I know I’ve been in a mood and challenging lately and I know I’ve been battling the dark demons and losing. But tonight, for the first time in a long time, I was just happy. Happy with those around me, happy with my life and, yes, even my choices. Happy with this moment, this night, this feeling.
I couldn’t stop the tears from coming as I fought for my composure. I have had my head buried in the work so much that I almost missed the joy. I’m so glad I caught it, finally, tonight, in time to take some of it home with me.
And I will go to sleep soon, blocking out the rooster who crows no matter whether it’s 66 AM or 6 PM (very confused livestock in this neighborhood, apparently), cuddling with my cat who has missed me terribly today, and, for the first time in a long time, not feel so alone, not feel so empty, as I take the joy and the memory and the affection from tonight with me as I finally shut my sleepy eyes and drift off.
2 comments:
You have earned the tremendous joy you're feeling. I'm happy for you.
Patty
THIS is a great line: "I have had my head buried in the work so much that I almost missed the joy."
Promise yourself that you'll never miss the joy. It's so very important.
Great post!
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