Take another little piece of my heart

I got to fall in love.

For a handful of weeks.

With an amazing man.

Who I can’t have.

So what else is new?

He makes me feel great. He makes me feel special. He looks at me and it’s like there is no one else in the world.

I’m sure his girlfriend feels exactly the same way.

And like all the men in my life that have taken a piece of my heart, he will probably fade away and vanish from my life, maybe slowly, maybe quickly. But, without a doubt, he will probably be gone fairly soon. I’ll have memories, I’ll have pleasant thoughts, I’ll have pictures from the amazing work we did together. But I won’t have him.

Because I don’t think I’m ready to have someone. That’s why the pieces of my heart vanish. Whether it’s their choice or mine, my heart seems to not be ready to get given away to someone who can do something about it.

I think because the years of it being battered and broken and trampled on are still imprinted on it. The wounds are still raw and bleeding, the bruises still fresh and purple. Sometimes, it still hurts to even breathe. The lingering effects of almost 20 years of having my emotions abused and bashed and negated make me unable or unwilling to let my heart be open for more than a moment in time, to let me let myself be open to someone who could hurt me that way again.

I don’t know when -- or if -- I’ll ever be able to let someone into my heart in a significant way again. Because I won’t survive another relationship where I lose myself again. Where my very being is taken apart and never put back together again.

I’d like to think I would make smarter choices now. I’d like to think I will draw someone to me who won’t kick me in the heart and stamp on my spirit. I’d like to think I’ve grown over these past four years and can see the red flags coming a mile away.

But to find that out, I have to be vulnerable. I have to be open. I have to be willing to let my heart off its chain and let it get broken a little bit.

But there are so few pieces of it left.

"Mastermind" opens this weekend!

My new directorial endeavor, "Mastermind", opens this weekend.

Part of Hurricane Season, the annual one act playwrighting festival and competition, "Mastermind" by Michael Patrick Sullivan, is a comic book style love story about a female reporter, Liz, trying to help her amnesiac boyfriend, J.D., find out who he really is. Of course, he could be a supervillain so that complicates things.

Featuring outstanding performances by Beth Ricketson and Brad Wilcox, this show will surprise you and touch your heart.





Also features new graphic novel artwork created by yours chumly.



Six performances only!

Friday, Saturday, July 10 and 11th at 8 PM and Sunday, July 12 at 2 PM.
Friday, Saturday, July 17 and 18th at 8 PM and Sunday, July 19 at 2 PM.

Eclectic Company Theatre
5312 Laurel Canyon Blvd., Noho
Tickets $15
Reservations (818) 508-3003
Tickets available at https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/71273

Also playing with "Mastermind", "Lovely Day", an adorable children's fable, and "Master of None", directed by my dear friend, Kerr Seth Lordygan.

Join me, won't you?