I want to write...

I want to write the great romantic tragedy.

I’m not talking Romeo and Juliet, oh, that’s too bad, fucked up kids who thought they were in love and killed themselves kind of romantic tragedy.

I wanna write something that would make “Kill Bill Vol. 2” look like a Disney movie. You’re “just not that into me”? Then you die. Simple. Body parts amputated, heads lopped off, hearts ripped out, still beating, from the hole I punched into your chest. I’ll pine and I’ll whine and I’ll moan, then I’ll hunt you down and chop off your… well… use your imagination, you chicken shit punk ass loser. See if anyone will date you now.

More blood will be spilled, more mayhem will be caused than Uma and Lucy and Viveca and the Crazy 88’s combined. Many will wonder about the cute guy down the hall who used to have this female friend who he loved but didn’t LOVE and why he suddenly stopped being seen in the lobby, or why his newspapers have piled up so high and what IS that smell coming from his apartment?

The heroine would talk like Samuel L. Jackson in “Pulp Fiction,” spewing forth quotes from fairy tales as she beheads her victims. Fuck black leather and skin tight outfits. She’d be in jeans with vintage men’s shirts and a kick-ass cool long leather coat like something out of a John Woo film (cuz all his capes do that cool flip up in the wind thing). And, of course, wear red Santana boots. Her hair would be red and hell hath no fury like this woman scorned.

Of course, her alter ego would be a mild-mannered director/writer who seems to be a bit fragile, a bit unsure of herself, a bit hesitant about showing her real self to anyone. Those she shows her secret identity to will stand in front of bullets for her. However, god help the men who break her heart. Death, mayhem, Crazy 88’s.

Of course, she’d need a really cool name. Heartbreaker? I’m sure some guy would say Lovelorn. How about Wraith of Love/ Suggestions are welcome.

Maybe it’s the full moon. Yes, it’s full again. Seems to bring out the feisty in me. The OOMA must be no more and I must push past that and find a new one… or come to terms with not having anyone. He will always be special, he will always be adored… and I may spare him the blood bath, as our heroine must always have a weakness for one person that she simply cannot destroy – whether villain or friend. So, OOMA, consider yourself lucky to be spared the Wraith of Love… But be warned, others out there. Don’t break my heart, don’t piss me off, or she may come after you…