I want John Cusak.

Okay, first of all, never see a romantic comedy when you’re in the process of getting divorced, especially not a romantic comedy about a woman your age getting divorced.

In case you didn’t figure it out, I just saw “Must Love Dogs.” Diane Lane, John Cusak, Dermot Mulroney. Only in the movies does a woman like Diane Lane exist. She, with the great hair and perfect body (as much as they tried to dress her like you and me). She, who, in the movie, is bemoaning her life as she wanders from room to room in her gorgeous, well-decorated two story house with all the antique furniture. She, who drives a very expensive convertible but teaches pre-school. She, who, if she took her beautiful hair out of the hair clip and did that head-toss thing one more time, I was going to start throwing popcorn at the screen.

Her crisis is this - divorced eight months from a gorgeous firefighter, has to choose between John Cusak and Dermot Mulroney. Sorry, all sympathy just went out the window. I’ll never get that choice. Instead, I get two cyber-guys I’ve never met, one who thinks I’m (God help me) “hot” and the other thinks I’m “yummy.” Their pictures are only slightly frightening. Her bad dates in the movie will probably end up being the best dates I could get.

Movies never show the reality, which is why we go to see them, I guess. They don’t show the crying jags in the middle of the day just because you thought about him. They never show someone like me who is pretty much homeless and living off of friends. They don’t show the transition, they only show the healthy aftermath, after months of therapy and weeping, boring friends with your pity-parties, becoming sick of listening to yourself complain about your life. I guess that’s why they don’t make movies about that time - because it’s ugly and lonely and not pretty at all.

Diane Lane meets John Cusak through an on-line dating service. Yeah, right. Guys like John Cusak need an on-line dating service. Women like Diane Lane need an on-line dating service. They don’t have people lined up around the corner, just waiting for them to be single and ready to date.

She talks about thinking that her ex was her one chance at being happy forever, that maybe that was as good as it gets. That rang true for me. It made me miss my soon-to-be ex for just a moment. I missed all the good things about him - the romance, the flowers, the warm embrace, spooning in bed every single night of our marriage. John Cusak says all of these wonderful, corny, cerebral things to Diane Lane and I thought, gee, I’d love to have someone say those things to me. Then I realized that my ex had said many of the same types of things to me during our life together and they made me smile or giggle or blush unashamedly. But it still didn’t work in the long run. Quote poetry all you want, when it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.

But in the movies, it has to work because it’s fantasy. And I have just as rich a fantasy life as any one in the movies. I imagine a blue-eyed man (I have a weakness for men with blue eyes) sweeping into my life, making me giddy with passion and excitement, then dancing me off into the sunset.

That’s the other thing you don’t see in the movies - the after the sunset. Or maybe that’s where these movies start, after the passion, after the toe-curling sex, after the thrill of his touch is long gone. Romantic comedies start with the end of the fairy tale and try to make you believe that there is another fairy tale out there for you.

And I admit, I sit here, hoping that there is another fairy tale out there for me. I had one for a while. And when it was good, it was the best. I’m not sure a new one could compete with it. But I cautiously look forward to at least trying.