I’m having a very strange and wondrous life.
If someone had told me that at 43, I’d be living this kind of life, I would have never believed it.
I’m on my second divorce, let’s just start there. I always thought I’d be married forever. Even the first time, I thought that. He thought 16 year olds were much more interesting. Damn, I hadn’t considered that. My second marriage I thought was made in heaven. I’m still kind of convinced that if he wasn’t the one, there isn’t one out there for me. But this was a choice that I had to make or die. And I came very close to dying two years ago and that’s what pushed me into this decision. But that’s for another blog.
I’m living on my own for the first time in 16 years. I was with my ex for almost 1/3 of my life. How weird is that? Adjusting to single life, as you all know and have read here, is very, very strange. Don’t know how to act, don’t know what to do. Way too many confusing feelings to even begin to assess.
Then there’s the strange social life I would have never anticipated that I would be participating in. Karaoke seems to be my main source of entertainment. Two nights of karaoke, yet. One apparently isn’t enough. Although, to be honest, it’s mostly about hanging out with friends and laughing until I cry. I guess we could do that anywhere, we just happen to do it where you get to unleash your inner rock star. Still, I have rarely sung karaoke in my life, mocked it openly, in fact, yet was always envious of people who could just get up there and sing.
The last two nights have kind of made me stop and think about the social aspect of my life. I found myself last night at the Viper Room, far too hip a place for an old lady like me, listening to The Piper Downs, an amazing, kick ass, rowdy as hell rock band that Chairman has introduced me to. I found myself saying to another friend, “Yeah, going to the Viper Room tonight.” Now, although I have lived in LA almost 18 years, I still have a little bit of star-struck, Winnipeg girl in me and it never occurred to me that ordinary folks like me were allowed in the Viper Room, I don’t care if it’s Sunday night at 9. We’re still not allowed. And I’m standing in there last night, listening to this amazing band and enjoying my time with Chairman, thinking, this is really great. Strange, odd, not at all what I envisioned my life at 43.
Then tonight, stopped by Bigfoot for what was supposed to be an early night for me. I was anticipating midnight curfew and bed. And I was well on my way there until I left the bar – actually left around midnight, right on time – and ran into AJ and his adorable friend, Drew, from Athens. Well, had to go back in for a bit to say hi and listen to more karaoke. Next thing I know, I’m down at another bar, drinking whiskey shots and listening to AJ and Drew tell hysterical stories about their friendship and sharing gin in the shower (ask them about it). And again, I’m thinking, what the hell am I doing drinking whiskey at 1 AM on a Monday night. This is not a world I am familiar with.
And yet, strangely enough, it is a world I am becoming attached to. I like the night owls. I like hanging out until the bars are closing. I am developing a wicked taste for Jameson’s. I love spending time with these crazy kids, most of which are at least 10 years or more younger than me, although there are one or two that at least are in the same generation as I am. They make me feel old and young all at the same time.
So now is where the dilemma arrives. 2:37 AM. I have at least eight hours of work or more to do before 3 PM. I could sleep until 6ish and get up and fight my way through it. Or I stay up now, struggle to keep awake while that warm feeling whiskey leaves in me battles with my eyelids. Or split the difference, whatever that means. Whatever happens, I’m sure the weekend will only promise more adventures in the Land of the Midlife Crisis.
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