Not easy.

It’s the things that should be the easiest that are the hardest.

It should have been easy to tell him about how bad things were.

It should have been natural to want to share with him my pain, my anger, my loneliness, as it should have been easy for him to share the same with me.

It should have been easy to share my darkness with those who cared the most, who wanted to help, who reached out.

It should be easy to leave a difficult life behind and begin again. Letting go of all the negative and embracing the positive should make that transition easier, simpler. I thought that the first time and I think it now again.

It should be easy to tell someone new that you are in love with them because it’s the most amazing thing in the world to have someone in love with you.

It should be easy to put that behind you when you decide that it’s not the right time, right circumstance, right anything because you want it to be right.

It should be easy to put that person away for a while until it’s right or it’s not.

It should be easy to be with friends and not still feel alone.

It should be easy to find hope in this new life that’s being created and look forward to what it’s going to bring.

It should all be easier as time passes and distance grows between now and then, between the hurt and the sadness, between him and I.

But some days, it’s just not.