Moved me to tears...

So, my ex-husband emailed me back and caught me up on his life. Married for the third time, but seems to be very happy, two kids (16, 17), two dogs, two cats. He's an engineer (of all things) and a GIS computer system designer. Wow. Stunned. He wanted to be a chef.

Then he added:

"On the side there something I feel I have to say. We had something wonderful and also tragic I don't feel I was even a knight (maybe a big toad or something)I was very selfish through all of the short time we had together. In all my life I don't think I could find anyone who felt the way you did for me and for this I am sorry. I hope we can be friends (like pen pals...cuz you are so far away). keep in touch."

He touched me so deeply with this. I loved him in a way that I don't think I've loved anybody since. We were so young when we got married - I was 21, he was 20. He had a very screwed up family and wanted to relive his teenage years, since he never really had any.

I'm so moved and touched and overwhelmed by the people who have come back into my life in the last few years - Chairman, Al Underwood, and now, Shawn. I don't know what it all means. I don't know that it's supposed to mean anything. i do know that, at times like this, I feel so blessed by these reunions of those from my past. With everything I've gone through in the last two years, it's strangely like going back to the years where I was most happy - the beginning of my relationship with Shawn, my time at Universal where I made some of my best friendships. Maybe it's the opportunity to return to the joys and the wonder of that time, letting go of the pain and the hurt of the last few years.

Whatever it is, I'm glad I've got it.