I am in that mood again.

I hate that I miss you still. That you’re still in my mind every day. And that you don’t give me another thought. I hate that I cannot free myself of you, no matter how hard I try. I hate that you have vanished out of my life, without a word, just hovering enough on the edges to remind me that you are there and to keep you ever present. I hate that I cannot make myself just leave you out of my life entirely and that I am still drawn to you, unconsciously, waiting, wanting, never having. Knowing it’s ridiculous, knowing it’s absurd, knowing there will never be anything there. Because there isn’t anything there at all now. I hate that I feel like it’s my fault you’re gone and that I drove you away, when I know so much of it was you choosing to leave me behind. And I hate that you left me behind without explanation or acknowledgement. And I hate that I still miss you every single day.