This morning, I walked away from my Batman, ironically to protect my heart.
It has been a year of lessons learned, discovery, passion, pleasure and joy. And a year of almost.
And I can't do almost anymore, even if it means leaving all of the so-very-good behind. And it was so incredibly very good. So much so that I thought very strongly about staying because of the so very good.
But the almost was too much and I took what I had left of my heart and walked away.
And I will miss his beautiful blue eyes, and his gentle, kind heart, and his arm around me as I fall asleep on his shoulder, and his tactile toes, and every other single thing about him.
And the image of him in his dark coat, striding up my stairs, the passion tangible in the air, will be one that will live in me for a very long time.
So thank you, my Batman, for the things you gave that you can't even fathom. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes and see how beautiful and amazing you are. And I only wish you joy.
And I'm sorry I can't be friends. Not yet. Maybe never. Because a piece of my heart lives in you and it will call to the other pieces I still have and I don't think I could resist that call. So, I'm sorry. But know that I will think of you often and with love.
4 comments:
Although it is sad to hear this news, sometimes we need to make those very tough decisions for the better in the long run. And, listening to our gut saves us time. I am amazed you find yourself strong enough to do it -- all the best...
Thanks. I adore him and always will but we want different things. Hardest thing I've done in a very long time.
The best things are often the hardest, the hardest the best. You are strong. Sending you comfort.
That was very moving. I totally understand it. I truly know how hard that is--did it myself earlier this year. Blessings and Sweet hope for the future to you~
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