Things I want him to know:

1. You will always have my heart. I may end up giving away tiny pieces of it some time way down the road but the sweet spot will always belong to you. Remember to cradle it in your gentle hands and try not to crush it.

2. I learned so much from you - some good, some bad. Creatively, artistically, I probably wouldn’t be where I am without you. I just wish you could have shared in what that resulted in along the way and not chosen to leave me standing in the spotlight alone.

3. This will be better for both of us in the long run. You will find someone who fills that void and that requirement that somehow I seemed to miss as the years went along. I thought I was along for one ride, you apparently had a different e-ticket in mind.

4. I’m sorry we never had children. I think they could have been the best of both of us -- and I think that’s a pretty staggering thought.

5. I wish I could tell you what I wanted you to be. Somehow, though, the adjectives didn’t seem to fit when I tried them on you. Maybe I should have given you the chance to try them on and see how they fit.

SIDE NOTE: I hate loud, obnoxious self-important foreign people (Euro-trash, mostly) who have to show us how important they are by the volume of their annoying voices. You are nobody, if you have to make us look at you. And, dude, your badly dyed, long curly-ass, 1980’s “ain’t I cool Euro-trash” long haired Kennyt-G look make you look like an ass. And sit down and quite walking around, talking in that silly accent and showing us how big your dick is. It’ll never be as big as mine.

6. I miss you every single day.

7. I wish you could see who I am now and who I am becoming. I’m so excited about my future and I just wish it could have included you.

8. We’re not going to be friends. It’s not possible. Too much pain, too much hurt, too much of us that is still connected. We can work together, we can socialize, we can be in the same room. But chatty coffees and dinners at Georgios are not going to happen.