"I was alive and I waited, waited..."

...to paraphrase Jesus Jones.

“I was alive and I waited, waited/ I was alive and I waited for this/Right here, right now/There is no other place I want to be/Right here, right now/Watching the world wake up from history.”

I realize this song has a more global purpose and message but, for some reason, those lyrics resonated very personally today.

“I was alive and I waited, waited…”

I spent so many years waiting for my life to start. Figuring I had all the time in the world, I could wait for it to get better, for things between us to get better, for everything to get better. I was asleep, living in history and not thinking about the next day/month/year. Just getting through the history of that day.

“I was alive and I waited, waited…”

I waited for him to define me, to tell me who I was, who I am, who I would be. I waited because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t realize I could wake up and find my own definition.

“I was alive and I waited, waited…”

Waited for someone else to save me, because I knew I couldn’t save myself.

“I was alive and I waited for this…”

Waited for a life worth living, waited for friends who allowed me to be who am I, waited for a history that would begin new and not be weighted down by the history I dragged along behind me.

“Right here, right now, there is no other place I want to be…”

Simply true. Right here, right now, there is no other place I want to be. “Watching my world wake up from history.”

Right here. Right now.