A birthday of my own

For years, my birthday has never been my own.

While I was married, anything that I planned had to be approved by my ex. He actually threatened to not come to my birthday party one year because I wanted to go country line dancing and he doesn’t like to do that. Hmmmm… thought it was MY birthday. I always acquiesced and did what he wanted to do. Most of the time, I didn’t complain too much because I usually found something that I didn’t mind doing that made him happy. But my birthday was always a fight and a struggle. My last birthday in our marriage became a week-long argument over the fact that I wanted cupcakes instead of a cake. Yup. A week of arguing over cupcakes. Including on my birthday. Phone calls back and forth - “you sure you want cupcakes?”. I got my cupcakes.

In the past five years, I’ve had some fantastic birthdays. However, I share my birthday with a number of folks, who I love. Patty Jean in particular is my favorite birthday twin. We’ve shared many parties, gone to Disneyland, among other things.

This year, however, I decided I wanted my own birthday.

I was struggling with this birthday because I’m 48. The “8” birthdays always hit me hard. Makes me go, “Oh, my god, I’m almost (30, 40, 50). What the hell am I doing?” So I didn’t want to make a big deal about this birthday. I had invites out for drinks but they conflicted with others who share my birthday and I would have ended up sharing this birthday celebration with others. Not that that’s a bad thing. I just wanted my own birthday.

So, due to a lack of funds, I basically spent most of the day alone, working on cleaning up the “Mastermind” edit. Not a bad way to spend the day. Friends emailed, texted and Facebook-ed happy birthdays, which was lovely. Monica even left me $10 so I could go to the movies or whatever.

I finally decided to go to an Artwalk in Downtown LA. All the galleries stay open late and it’s a fun night. I was going by myself because everyone either worked late or had plans for my birthday buddies for the evening. But I was looking forward to the Artwalk.

The one thing I wanted to do is something called The Drink and Draw Social Club. Put together by a group of established and successful comic book artists, I couldn’t wait to go and see what it was about.

I had the best birthday in recent memory.

I sat next to Bob Layton, who re-invented “Iron Man” to what we know now. He’s an advisor on the films and was regaling us with stories about Robert Downey, Jr. and other things. The guy next to me, Dan Panosian, is currently working on “Wolverine: Origins” amongst others. Oh, and the girl who’s working on “Tron”. I’ll give you a moment to geek out.

I was completely intimidated by the two dozen or so incredible artists around me. I had brought my sketch pad but was too intimidated to draw. I shared some of my fine art stuff and they ooh’d and aah’d over it, which made me feel better. They were all very encouraging and lovely and, in the end, I ended up doing a “Mastermind” sketch, which I am quite happy with.



I sat there for about two and a half hours, listening, absorbing, laughing and drawing. Watching them draw. Listening to them talk. Having the time of my life.

It was a birthday of my own. A birthday I didn’t share with anyone, doing something I would never in a million years have imagined I would do. I came home tired, deliriously happy, creatively inspired and a tiny bit more confident in my ability.

I will be going back there every Thursday that I can manage and hope to get to know these folks more.

For now, gonna keep this birthday very close and very tightly to my heart. Despite being alone, I never felt more myself, more happy and more satisfied than ever.