Are we there yet?

I was talking to someone tonight who I’ve just gotten to know through the Eclectic Company Theatre (www.eclecticcompanytheatre.org) and giving him the mini version of the last four years of my life.

And this thought occurred to me:

Am I there yet?

I don’t know where “there” is but I’ve been wondering lately if I’m ever gonna get there.

Yes, I know, I’ve done amazing things, I have a great life, yada, yada, yada.

But do we ever get “there”? The “there” that is what we changed our lives for. The “there” that is the dream life - the significant other, the perfect abode, the perfect job, running on the beach without sunscreen, eating but not getting fat. That “there”.

I do know how much I’ve grown and changed in the past four years. Talking to someone new and giving them the Reader’s Digest version of things almost always puts things in perspective.

I think I’m at a rest stop on the way “there”. Maybe about mid-way. I can look back and see where I came from. Yikes. I can feel how many miles away that other life is and can look back at it with some perspective and some fondness now. I’m pausing to pee and get something to eat and just take a breath, maybe pull out the map, see how far behind me the other life was and check out how far ahead of me the new life is. Make sure I know where the next rest stop is so I can make sure I don’t run out of gas and know when I can pee again.

The map is sometimes easy to read. The broad roadways jump out and I can figure out which way I’m supposed to go.

But sometimes the map is like the Thomas Guide we use here in California. It’s an encyclopedia of different areas, different freeways, confusing symbols and the teeniest, tiniest writing ever. The freeway I’m on starts on page 2 but ends somewhere at the cross section of E4 on page 138. That’s a lot of pages to flip to play connect the freeway dots. Those are the times when I have to pull over and ask for directions because I can’t figure this stupid thing out.

But sometimes, it’s like it is now. I’m between two crazy projects that have and are going to eat up my time and my life, in the best way possible. I’ve been driving at 90 mph for the past three weeks and now I’m stopping at the vending machine, laying the map out on the hood and making sure I’m not in Alaska instead of LA. No right turn at Albuquerque for me.

And I’m looking down the road into the sun, which blurs the road in front of me. Yes, there’s the map and, yes, the AAA trip ticket. And even a full tank of gas and a bag full of goodies.

But that sun-blurred road is a bit scary and I wonder if I could live at the rest stop for just a little while. Just until the sun goes down and maybe makes the road easier to see.

Although that’s no fun.

So, after I’ve caught my breath, used the restroom and checked the map one last time, I’m climbing back into my imaginary Mustang convertible (hey, it’s my fantasy, I get to have the car I want), shift into first and aim towards “there”, wherever that may be.

And maybe getting “there” really, truly is about the journey, not the destination. Without the journey, there is no “there”, just endless alleyways and turnarounds. And there are wonderful sights on the way “there” that we may never see if we don’t try to get “there”.

So, I hope to see you all at the next rest stop. Grab a Coke and hang out with me for a bit. And we’ll figure out where “there” is for you.