Be vewy, vewy quiet...

I am happy, right now, this moment, this second.

Shhhhh.

I don’t want to frighten it away.

True, honest happiness is so fleeting, so brief, that it’s easy to miss. By the time you realize you have it, it’s gone and something else has taken its place - anger, depression and, in my case, fear.

I don’t want to look too closely at why, at this moment, I am happy. Looking too closely can make it hide, can make me overanalyze it right into oblivion.

I painted and that makes me happy.

I wrote last night and figured out a few things with the feature screenplay for “The Wraith” and woke with some new ideas and that makes me happy.

My cat, Twyla, is curled up on the back of the sofa, her tail covering her face while she sleeps and she is so incredibly adorable and that makes me happy.

I have rehearsal tonight for a show I’m stage managing with people I really enjoy working with because they make me feel like I’m the greatest thing on earth and I really am enjoying this show and rehearsals are fun and that makes me happy.

I picked up an extra day of teaching this week, on Sunday, and it’s a birthday party for kids at Mission Renaissance and it’ll be a blast and it means a bigger paycheck and that makes me happy.

I have a very cool roomie who hugs me when I get home and that makes me happy.

I’m very excited about the next painting I’m going to start and that makes me happy.

We’ve had a breakthrough on the script for the comedian and that makes me REALLY happy.

I don’t feel obligation or guilt or panic about making sure I make everyone else happy and feel that I have to put someone ahead of me and that makes me happy.

I have paint all over both my hands and, weirdly enough, up near my armpit on my left arm and that makes me really, really happy.

So I’m going to live in this moment, this second, this feeling for as long as my crazy life and my crazy brain will let me. And maybe, just maybe, these tiny, simple, unexpected little moments will build into a life made up of mostly those moments and not much else.